Coaching Resources for Parents and TeensThe coaching approach works great when parents coach teens--or even younger children. For the parent, these tools let you influence your teen while helping yours son or daughters assume more and more responsibility for their lives. For the teen, it gets mom and dad out of the telling role and gives them space to share their heart and feel heard.
by Gregory Bland
Forward by Tony Stoltzfus
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This wonderfully-practical manual shows how to apply the coaching approach to Christian parenting. Filled with sample coaching dialogs, practice exercises and feedback from youth about how the coaching approach has impacted them, author Greg Bland shows how valuing your kids' hearts through listening and asking can transform your relationships. Written by a coach who has actually done this in his own family, this book doesn't just tell you about parent coaching: it trains you to do it.
24 pages, hardback, color
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I liked the coaching approach of this children's books so much that I am partnering with the author to write another! By putting your children's names right into the story to make them part of it, and providing open questions the kids answer themselves, Jimetta has created a unique children's story that empowers kids to think creatively and find solutions. Its a great way to bring coaching values into the way you parent young children.
Written by an adept storyteller and illustrated with gorgeous original artwork, this full-color hardback will be one your kids or grandkids look forward to reading.
Why Parents Need Coaching Skills
The parenting style you use needs to change with each stage your kids go through. When you're raising babies, you do things for them: feed them, put them to bed, change them, burp them. A bit older and you switch to a directive style: instead of carrying them to bed, you walk them to the bedroom, or tell them, "No!" when they play too close to the street.
A few more years and you've taught them to go to bed on their own. They know the rules and boundaries and can apply them to different situations. You show them how to do something and expect them to do it on their own--that's mentoring. You've moved from doing for through directingto mentoring. Each step gives the child more autonomy and responsibility.
For teens, parents need to move from mentoring to coaching them through the process of making their own decisions and reflect on the consequences of their actions. However, many parents lack these crucial coaching tools. Staying too long in a directive or mentoring (imparting wisdom) parenting style often stirs up resistance or rebellion from teens who want to grow up instead of being told. Learning to ask, listen and draw out a teen's heart makes the teen years much more fun and productive for everyone!
4" Acrylic Cube, 135 cards
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Check out the Dinner Party version, too!
Here's a great conversational game for your family or gift for the coach in your life! TableTopics are incisive conversation-starter questions designed to help take everyday conversations to a deeper level. Each set includes 135 question cards in a beautifully-made acrylic cube. Pick a card, ask the question and let the fun begin!
The award winning "Family" set uses age-appropriate questions to help kids and adults connect at bedtime, over meals, or wherever you want an interesting conversation!
Video, 25 minutes
Why does the enemy spend so much effort trying to tell women they are not beautiful? Why is he so invested in creating an impossible body image and tearing women down when they don't match up to it? Why do so many women struggle with feeling beautiful and desirable? The answer will surprise you!
In this short teaching video, Tony Stoltzfus reveals the motive behind this war on women and shows how you can fight back--or even laugh at it!
54 cards, instruction booklet, case
This fun self-discovery tool helps people identify and describe their feelings and follow those emotions to key memories, beliefs and core desires. It's a great way to stimulate enjoyable, authentic conversation. Housed in a transparent case, the set includes:
- 16 - Emotion Cards, describing eight positive and eight negative feelings
- 16 - Desire Cards, each describing a core desire
- 16 - Twisted Desire Cards, showing how true desires look when distorted
- 6 - Question Cards, used to help players connect with desires, emotions, memories and beliefs
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This short, practical volume offers a wealth of great tips and techniques for constructing excellent coaching questions. While not a coaching book per se (it is targeted at small group coaches or leaders), How to Ask Great Questions covers quite a few of the bread and butter asking techniques coaches use: open and closed questions, probing questions, asking about what's significant, and bringing out people's inner thoughts and true feelings.
The best feature of the book is that it includes example after example of great questions created for specific scenarios or situations. Any coach (and especially beginners, coaches in training or small group coaches) could benefit from having How to Ask Great Questions handy.