From long experience as a coach trainer, here’s my personal list of the top five asking mistakes coaches make (excerpted from the book, Coaching Questions by Tony Stoltzfus).
Asking Mistakes #1: Closed Questions
Number one on our list of asking mistakes is—closed questions! Open questions are powerful questions and have two important benefits: they let the coachee direct the conversation (you can answer in many different ways) and they make the coachee think by eliciting more than one-word answers. While most people will answer the occasional closed question as if it were open, too many will shut people down. Continue reading “Asking Mistakes Coaches Make: the Top Five”
Years ago my extended family got together for a reunion, and apparently all of my brothers and sisters had just seen the same episode of a popular TV show, with a signature line that stuck in their memories. So all weekend, whenever we were discussing a decision, planning an activity or just trying to choose which kind of cold cuts to set out for lunch, at some point one person would break us all up by dropping into a whiny, victim tone and delivering the show’s punch line: “But what about MY needs?” Continue reading “What About MY Needs? | Staying Client-Centered”
As a coach, I work with people and groups using adult learning concepts. Adults learn differently than children. The Bible says in 1 Cor.13:11, “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” Adults who live from a learning stance learn best when they have permission to choose their own goals and ways of learning. Grownups are motivated to gain knowledge or new skills on a ‘need to know’ basis. Your home or worksite provides compelling reasons for personal learning and growth: new responsibilities are acquired, challenges need to be overcome, and situations arise which require innovative answers and effective methods. Continue reading “Living from a Learning Stance”
January is when our eyes optimistically turn to the year ahead. What will I accomplish this year? What are my dreams? What do I want to change? However, new-year’s resolutions rarely address the persistent obstacles that sabotage our efforts. One major roadblock to change is what coaches call self-talk: the messages we habitually or unconsciously tell ourselves about who we are and how life works. Below are eight common self-talk messages. Maybe one is defeating you! Continue reading “How to Let Your Self-Talk Defeat You”